First, a brief history

Women being the epicentre of their family’s wellness is nothing new: historically and globally, women have typically been the assigned the role of CEO of the household corporation, as primary caregivers and as the central hub of household management. During WWII, a shift took place when women were brought en masse into the workforce to support the war efforts. After the war, they continued to work in jobs typically assigned to their male counterparts to combat prevailing labour shortages.

As women’s roles in the workforce evolved, access to education meant opportunities to pursue better career prospects and gain financial independence outside of marriage. Meanwhile, advances in medicine allowed for older adults to remain active, healthy, and independent for longer.

With aging parents needing less assistance and more families becoming dual income households, families branched out—moving away from multi-generational living to living separately, and creating a family structure centred around social opportunities, rather than multigenerational caregiving.

In theory, anyway.

While the experience of women in the workforce has changed a lot for the better, women are still responsible for the lion’s share of household management and caregiving. Back in 1981, Dorothy A. Miller coined the term “sandwich generation” in her essay for ‘Social Work’—an Oxford published journal for social work professionals. Describing the then-modern concept of middle-aged adults—specifically women aged 45 to 65—effectively finding themselves sandwiched between directing the care of their aging parents whilst still tending their dependent children, contributing financially, and managing household responsibilities.

The boomer(ang) generation

With the economy lagging post-COVID, inflation, and rising cost of living, many baby boomers are adjusting their retirement plans as adult children and families ‘boomerang’ back into the family home to mitigate their financial stress. While the support may be freely and happily offered, often this also means adding young grandchildren into the fold of their responsibilities, all while their aging parents’ heath care needs become more prominent with dementia, cancer, and other complex health concerns sometimes adding to the duties of the primary caregiver.

While there are proven benefits to maintaining intergenerational connections, sometimes the demands on the primary caregiver become overwhelming. If left unaddressed, the manifestation of added stressors negates any chance of a positive outcome for everyone involved. Primary caregivers have been known to experience burnout and related health issues as a result of the constant cycle of putting themselves last.

Reframing the benefits of community living

“Many older adults fear being left in an old folks’ home after they witnessed their own parents being placed in cold, institutional, and rigid group homes that focused almost exclusively on medical care and reduction of physical risk,” says Kera Redlack, VP Wellness and Employee Engagement. “Knowing their parents may hold these beliefs and fears leads caregivers to shouldering more of the burden of care for longer, which can lead to burnout and fractured relationships with their loved ones.”

“Unfortunately, some of the stigma associated with senior communities is rooted in lived experience. In a typical mid-century care home model, quality of life and the various dimensions of wellbeing were either secondary to providing medical care, or not as well understood.” Kera explains much has changed over the decades: “Today, many older adults are making the move because they are seeing the appeal of community living,” she explains. “Social connection, less cooking and home maintenance, opportunities to stay active and try new things. People still want and need access to care professionals, but they are making the move into a community setting to make the most of these years.”

From caregiver to care partner

Often, seniors who transition into community living find their relationships with their adult children begin to blossom again, as the nature of their time spent together becomes less care-driven, and more about reconnecting socially over leisurely pursuits.

“Spending quality time with your loved one isn’t just time well spent, it’s proven to lead to more positive health outcomes. Seniors, especially those experiencing cognitive decline, can experience a slowing in the pace of cognitive decline, and their overall mental and physical wellness outcomes are vastly improved when they have access to the social aspects of community living. As a result, relationships with their families can be strengthened,” Kera says. “While the outcomes for the older adult are notably improved with community support, it’s just as important to seek support for the caregivers as well.”

Having a collaborative support network for your loved one means an opportunity to redefine your relationship from caregiver to care partner: support from a team of people who work together to achieve your loved one’s needs and wellness goals.

“Once you’ve established a care plan with the team members in the community, you may find a renewed ability to focus on other priorities, and even find time to nurture yourself,” Kera says. “The benefits of a peer support group can also go a long way to help you understand you’re not alone, and can offer insights into how to cope with the ongoing changes your loved one is experiencing. The United Caregivers Support Group is as essential to United’s programming as outings or workshops for residents, it’s a place for the loved ones of residents to feel seen, heard, and valued as members of the community too.”

“Sis has always been active and involved in her community—whether it’s joining the community curling league, volunteering, or socializing, she likes to be busy and active during the day, and routine is very important to her well being,” says Mary Ann, sister of a United Resident. “When she was diagnosed with dementia, we made the decision together to move her to United so she could receive the daily support she needs. The programming and social aspects of community living gives her the opportunities to be active and make friends.” Mary Ann continues, “It’s been wonderful to be able to participate in programming alongside Sis, and to know she thrives in the community even if I can’t be there.”

Mary Ann speaks to the benefits of support for caregivers as well: “I’ve attended the caregivers support group meet-ups, it’s so helpful to connect with other family members who are experiencing similar situations and I’ve learned a few things to look out for and be aware of. It’s really helpful to have this support, and to be included and welcomed into of the United community alongside Sis. People have even asked if I’m moving in too!”

Change for the better
Joining a seniors' community is a big decision, but with proactive communication and the support of loved ones, many families can overcome their hesitation about making the transition—either for themselves or for their loved one.

Often on this journey, both the individual and their caregivers discover a positive lifestyle change that not only empowers the pursuit of passions, relationships, and friendships beyond their familial circle, but also strengthens their bond. Taking a portion of stress off everyone’s plate, most often means a chance to relish the good stuff: time well spent with each other.